Insanity
by Nicole Wagner
Summary: Professor Xavier goes to visit one of his students, who has been insitutionalized in an Asylum for 5 years. During the visit, his guilt grows over the whole situation of this student. All from Professor Xavier's Point of View.


INSANITY

By: Nicole Wagner: The Deadly Gambit

Edited and Beta(ed) by: faceted mind (Luv yah, dear!)

Summary: Professor Xavier goes to visit one of his students, who has been insitutionalized for 5 years. All from Professor Xavier's Point of View

Rated: PG-13

* * *

I can feel the lump in my throat growing, my pulse increasing as I go down these halls. I've had the same feelings ever since I decided to make these visits to the New York Asylum. My hover chair carefully floats inches above the ground, careful to avoid the patients around me. I can sense their minds, so much pain, so much hurt... but mainly, loneliness. It only takes me a moment more, before the orderly that had led me down these halls stops in front of a door. He takes his card key and runs it through the reader, and a loud beep is heard. The heavy door makes a hissing sound as it opens, revealing the patient inside.

The young man's auburn hair had grown down to the small of his back, and he was shaking violently... a side effect of his medication I am told. A straight jacket keeps his arms pressed up against his chest, and an inhibitor collar hangs around his slender neck, keeping his powers at bay. He's in constant isolation, from what I am told, and his family, his own family, they do not bother to visit him.

Only Hank and I visit this poor soul on a regular basis... and as far as I know, Storm and Logan visited him on his Birthday. The door is finally shut behind me, and I move closer to the young man, gently running a hand through his hair, trying to show him some affection. His head rests on the edge of my hover chair, and a pair of red on black eyes look up at me, tears welling up in them. His voice is barely a whisper, and so hoarse as the young Cajun speaks to me.

"De voices... dey still dere... dey won' go away... ah wan' mah pere... ah wanna go home!"

"I know, Remy... the medication should be calming those voices." I tell him, trying as much as possible to avoid talk of his father. He does not know it, but while he was in the asylum, his father has passed away, and the rest of the Thieves Guild, his family, wants nothing more to do with him. Most of the X-men, my students, felt the same way.

When Remy returned from Antartica, after he was placed on trial for his crimes against the Morlocks, I allowed him back to the X-men. I believe everyone deserves a second chance, and most of my students have had second chances, and even third and fourths. But most of my students did not agree with me, and allowed Remy to see that. He was exiled to the boathouse, and never invited to picnics or Danger Room sessions. He was completely ignored... but that was not punishment enough. One day, Rogue conspired with Warren, Betsy, and Bobby to punish Remy, further... and what they planned was beyond cruel.

Rogue lured Remy into the Danger Room - apparently, she told him that she was going to forgive him. As soon as he entered the Danger room, his fate was sealed. A program of the whole Morlock Massacre was played before him, as Rogue held him in place, forcing him to watch. The program was repeated over and over again... until finally, Remy broke. He had sobbed and claimed he couldn't get the voices out of his head... he had begged for the voices to get out of his head. The Morlock's screams of agony, their death cries… he couldn't stop hearing those things.

When the program finally ended, Remy was on the floor. Then Betsy, Warren, and Bobby entered the Danger Room. They laughed at him, pushed him around, beat him... just to make him cry some more. When they got tired of that game, Betsy used her psychic knife - thrusting it into Remy's skull, and breaking his mind, once and for all.

By the time Hank and I had returned from the conference, they had left the danger room, leaving Remy behind. We rushed in to aid him, but he began to attack us, out of complete fear. We were forced to sedate and restrain him, until he would calm down. But that never happened. He never got better, he never became sane again.

Five years ago... this all happened. For five years, Remy has lived in this asylum, isolated from other patients, for his own safety as well as theirs. I have been Remy's guardian, seeing him at least once a month, over-seeing his treatment and care. Hank often helps me, but only saw Remy when he could. Storm only sees Remy on his Birthday, along with Logan. Though declared insane, Remy still reconizes us... but he cannot get past the voices in his head, and the painful images he sees on a daily basis.

As for the students that have done this to him... I could not forgive them. Yes, as I said before, I believe in second chances, and perhaps a little more. But this... this was inexcusable! They destroyed a man who had no control over his past, who wanted to do good with his life. A man who wanted a chance to be forgiven for his sins, as they had been at one point or another. If they could do this to Remy, lord knows what they could do to another person. I expelled all four of those students from my school, from the X-men... as much as it had pained me to do so.

My mind soon returned from how this had happened to Remy, to looking back at the young man. He was crying softly, begging and pleading in a mixture of French, Cajun, and English. From what I could make out... he wanted his family, he wanted to voices to stop, and he wanted to go home. A sigh escaped my lips, and I continued to run my hand through his hair, trying to calm and comfort him... the only thing I could do for Remy.

"You just turned twenty eight, did you not, Remy?" I asked him, trying to lure him into reality, and away from the mental pain he felt. "I heard Storm and Logan visited you... what did they bring you, this year?"

"She... Stormy... brought mah a plant... Logan... gave mah... a new shirt..." He sniffled and looked up at me. He looked so pathetic, no longer what I had come to see him as. When I first viewed Remy, I saw bravery, loyalty, youth... but that, that was all gone, now. He just seemed like a young boy now. "Dey... dey took de plant away... no windows in dis room... plants need light... dey put it in de Nurse's office... dey bring it in fer mah ta look at, t'ough..."

"That's very kind of them to bring you such nice presents." A small smile escaped my lips, he was calming down, and now, the voices were not bothering him as much. I opened a compartment in my hover chair and took out a present. Yes, I unfortunately missed his Birthday due to a conference on Human/Mutant relations. I place the box on my hover chair, and Remy's eyes looked up at it. "I know I am a month late... but I got you a present, my friend. Happy belated Birthday, Remy!"

If his hands were not bound by that straight jacket, I would have imagined that Remy would have taken the gift from me and torn off the paper. Instead, he looked at it through drugged eyes, then turned to me. His lips were twitching a bit, again, it was from the medication he was on. I gave him a reassuring smile and opened the box for him, and took out the gift it held.

A picture. Not just any picture, a picture of Remy as an X-Man, as a hero. He looked at the picture, tilting his head a bit, then looking back at me, tears escaping his eyes once more. "This... this is you, Remy. You are a hero... you will always be a hero, and an X-Man."

"An... X-man..." Remy's voice cracked as he looked at the picture in it's frame. He looked up at me, before breaking down and sobbing like a small child. "Remy... Remy no X-Men... Remy a murderer... Remy a bad man!"

"That is not true! You are none of those things!" I tried to reassure him, just running my hands through his long hair, in a loving, fatherly manner. "You are an X-Man, you are a hero, and a wonderful man, Remy. And when you are ready to come back to reality, to what you once were, I will be there waiting for you. We all will."

I gave him one more hug, before the Orderly walked into the room. My time with Remy was up, and I had to go. As I started to unwrap my arms from around his frame, Remy looked up at me with desperate eyes, and a look of fear upon his youthful face.

"Please... please non! Don' leave mah here! Ah wanna go home! Ah wanna go HOME!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. This was how every visit ended. Remy would be fear stricken and start screaming, crying, or throwing a tantrum about leaving the asylum. As much as I wanted to, I could not bring him back to the mansion. He would be an easy target for any other X-Man that had ill thoughts of him, and would not get the therapy and treatments he so desperately needed.

I placed my hand on the side of his face and looked into his eyes, giving him a smile, a sad smile, but it was a smile. "Remy, when you are all better, I promise, you'll go home. But right now, you're very sick, and this place is he only place that can treat you. Do not fear, I shall be back next month for our visit."

As I started to leave the room, the Orderly walked in, trying to calm Remy down with kind words, and telling him that dinner was going to be ready, soon. I felt guilty... I should have protected him, and now, Remy just suffered. I feel as though I have failed him, that my X-Men failed him... and the sad, sick truth was... we had.

END


End file.
